How to Start Marriage Financially Smart

Many marriages struggle because of poor financial decisions and poor communication about money. Set a loving and wise tone to your relationship early on by following these financial tips. Some of these suggestions on money may see like radical financial steps, but they work. We have used them in our marriage, counseled young couples who used them, and watched friends marriages improve when they applied them. Money matters to your marriage more than you may think.



Instructions

1. START WITH AN ENVELOPE BUDGET AND WEEKLY COMMUNICATION ON MONEY.
An envelope budget is the best way to make sure you start out knowing where all the money goes and why. There are two functions for budgets: tracking and controlling. Most people use them really only to track where the money goes. Early on in your marriage you want to control where the money goes. So carry cash in hand in envelopes that are labeled: groceries, entertainment/eating out, clothes, miscellaneous, etc. When the cash is gone, you can't spend in that area until the end of the month. If a month seems too long, do a weekly budget.
Here is why: you buy less when you pay with cash because you FEEL the money leaving. This keeps you from running up credit card debt early on in your marriage.
2. SAVE AN ENTIRE SALARY FOR THE FIRST YEAR OF MARRIAGE.
Most people do not have children or major financial responsibilities when they first get married. Even if you do have children you may be able to take this step. It takes frugal living for the first year of marriage. But it pays huge dividends. If you have significant debt you can get out from under it often in one year of two incomes without kids. There will never be an easier time to save in your life. This gives you the emergency fund that you absolutely need to avert financial crisis in the future. It also helps cover a down payment, or a car purchase, so that you save money over the long haul.
I know a couple who paid off 15,000 dollars of school debt and loans in the first year of their marriage and still saved money on top of that to pay for a masters degree. Another couple saved 24k their first year and still has that same amount in cash savings ten years later. They leveraged it to buy four different houses and are building wealth in real estate.
3. START SAVING FOR RETIREMENT AS EARLY AS POSSIBLE IN YOUR MARRIAGE.
If you have a 401k matching plan at work, contribute there. Otherwise choose a reasonable amount and have it automatically deducted every month from your pay to go to a Roth IRA. You pay taxes on that money on the front end, but all of its growth is tax free. One thousand dollars toward retirement in your second year of marriage will likely be worth 64,000 at retirement.
4. STAY OUT OF DEBT TO STRENGTHEN YOUR MARRIAGE.
Debt places a huge strain on a marriage and can lead to a lot of conflict conversations. If you want something, discipline yourselves to save up for it. The only debt that is helpful is a good home mortgage with a fixed low interest rate that builds equity. Otherwise, do your best to get rid of it. Pay off credit cards (if you use them) every month or stop using them.
5. SET YOUR MARRIAGE'S MONEY GROUND RULES TOGETHER AND STICK WITH THEM.
Early on discuss what your financial goals and strategies will be. One of you will be more likely to spend, the other to save. Recognize that these are benefits to each other and balance you out. One will be a detail person and good at handling the bills. Let them do it. Talk early and often about money and keep anger and bitterness out of the conversation. Avoid blaming, criticizing, or sarcastic remarks when you talk about money, or anything for that matter.
Remember you married each other because you love and respect each other. Don't let money get in the way.

How to Know When a Guy Loves You

A man in love is a doer, not a talker--whether this means pulling a bunch of wildflowers for you, making you breakfast in bed or putting up with your Aunt Sue when she comes to visit for three weeks. A man in love is not someone you need to spend a lot of time second-guessing: men aren't that complicated.
1
Watch his behavior. Men in love are probably easier to read than women because they don't spend hours dissecting the relationship with their buddies. A man in love, out of force of habit, will do things to show he cares: pull wildflowers from a meadow in Yosemite, get a tattoo with your name on it, buy your favorite frozen yogurt (extra points for bringing it to you when you didn't ask for it) and spending time with your family.
2
Pay attention to his body language and facial expressions. If he is scrunched over and scowling, looks bored, is constantly checking his cell phone or similarly distracted or showing annoyed mannerisms, then you know he's not in love. You don't really need someone to tell you that.

A man in love should be engaged with you, stare deeply into your eyes (unless he's shy, in which case he will look away, but still be engaged with you), touch you lightly on the arm, shoulder or hair and smile when you smile. A man in love feels your rhythm and mirrors it.
3
Test the waters. It's always best to let the guy tell you he loves you first, but you can gauge his level of interest with comments that question his future interest. If you can't get him to commit to a party you're having a month from now, that's a very bad sign. But if he's already asking if you like to snow ski, and you just met in the late spring, this is a keeper.
4
Feel his touch. A man in love will touch a woman's face, cradle her chin in his hands or brush a hair from her eye. A man just out for a romp in the sack won't indulge in tender touches such as these, especially out of the bedroom. If he has to at least hold your hand or fingertip in public, he loves you.
5
Listen to your heart. You'll know if he loves you. The hardest job we have in life is probably letting go of someone who does not love us. We all want to be loved so badly that we oftentimes project feelings and behaviors onto people who don't deserve our adoration. If you are suffering--calling your friends for information, running over every comment he's made or crying yourself to sleep--he does not love you.

How to Break Up With Someone You Still Love

Breaking up with someone you still have feelings for is one of the hardest things in the world. Sometimes, however, more pain will be caused by trying to stay together if the relationship truly cannot work out.

1
Make the decision to separate, and stick to it. Waffling will ultimately only cause more hurt on both sides, so make sure you are committed to the breakup before you take the first step.
2
Talk to your partner and explain why you can't be with the person anymore. Honest communication is the key; lying about your reasons, even if it is to spare the other person's feelings, will only confuse the matter.
3
Divide any joint belongings. If you share personal space, one of you will have to move, so make a list of what each of you will keep. Remove all belongings in one step to avoid hurtful return visits.
4
Wait before seeing each other to give the pain time to subside. Agree to give it a week, or a month--then re-evaluate and see if it is a good idea to see each other as friends.
5
Forgive each other. If you still love each other, this should be easy. Don't harbor resentful feelings, but acknowledge the good times you had together, and admit that it is time to move on.

How to Get Over a Guy You Still Like

Breakups are among the toughest experiences to endure. When you really like someone and have grown accustomed to having him in your life, it can be hard to deal with his absence. But with the right attitudes and behaviors, you can get over a guy you still like in almost no time at all.

1
Stay around close friends. Being alone can make it even harder to get over a guy you still like than it has to be. You'll end up with a lot of time to just sit and think--and guess what you'll be thinking about? Instead, occupy your mind by focusing on your friends.
2
Sit down and read a book. Choose a book you've been dying to read lately, but just haven't had the time. Get comfortable. Lose your thoughts in the book, and you'll find that you are spending less time thinking about him already.
3
Keep a level head. Sometimes it's hard to get over a guy who believes it's OK to still flirt with you from time to time. When something like this happens, don't flirt back. Even if part of you automatically responds to his overtures, turn it off! Remind yourself that, if it was meant to be, you would still be together. Know that there's something bigger and better out there for you.
4
Cut him out of your life if you know it's the only way you'll get over him. Delete him from your cell phone, email system and any other system of communication. It can be hard to stop yourself from text messaging, because it's sometimes easier to "type" words than to "say" them. But forbid yourself from doing it.
5
Start an exercise regimen. It's not uncommon for girls to automatically belittle themselves when they're trying to get over a guy. If you begin an exercise regimen, it will boost your mood immensely and make you feel better about yourself in the meantime. This is a good time to try out a new fitness club, learn to pole dance or maybe take a karate class. Try something challenging to consume your mind and push away the thoughts of him.
6
Begin writing a journal. When you put your thoughts on paper, you'll be amazed at how much more relaxed you become. Thoughts trapped in your head without an outlet go around and around in a destructive cycle. Pick out a cute new journal and start writing. Every time you pick it up, read the previous entry first. You'll be amazed at how much this helps you realize how perfect you weren't together.

How to Find Someone's Email Address for Free

You may want or need to contact someone via e-mail but discover you don't have his e-mail address and no one else you know has it either. While there is not a universal directory for e-mail addresses, there are several ways to find someone's e-mail address on the Internet for free, especially if you know the person's first and last name.

1
If you know the host of the e-mail address, the part between "at" and ".com," go to the domain Web site that has registered the e-mail address. Using the member search link, enter the first and last name of the person whose e-mail you want to obtain. Common names will yield a greater number of search results. If the person's first or last name has a nontraditional spelling or the name is uncommon, you may have more luck. For example, the pop star Nicole Scherzinger has an uncommon last name and could yield fewer search results for someone attempting to find her using this method.
2
Check a previous e-mail for clues. Open the e-mail address and locate the "From" field at the top of the e-mail heading. There you will find an e-mail address. For example, the "From" field could indicate that the e-mail address is from johndoe@msn.com. Send a message to the e-mail address; if you receive a message stating that the message was "Undeliverable," the e-mail address is no longer active. In this case, go to the MSN Web site and use the member search link because they may have opened a new account with the same host. If that does not work, you can try inputting the name they used for the old address at other domains in case they changed hosts but wanted to keep the same name.
3
Use the Yahoo People Finder. Enter the person's first name and last name and click "Go." The directory will provide a list of e-mail matches associated with the first and last name you enter. For example, a search of "Jane Doe" could yield the following matches: "Jane_doe@hotmail.com," "JaneDoe@msn.com," or "Jane.Doe@yahoo.com." The directory is not limited to Yahoo e-mail members.
4
Do a Web search. Open a Web browser and type the first and last name of the person. For example, type in "John Doe" putting the first and last name in quotation marks. By enclosing the first and last name in quotation marks, the engine will search the name as a whole instead of isolating the first name ("John") and last name ("Doe") and yielding information associated with the singular words, John and Doe.
5
Use a corporate domain. If you know where the person works, you could attempt to send an e-mail address using the corporate domain name or searching the company directory for the person's e-mail address. If the person works at Domain Name, his e-mail address could be "firstname.lastname@domainname" or "firstname_lastname@domainname," for example.

How to Know if Someone Is Lying

To quote Christopher Walken a la "True Romance" regarding lies, "a guy's got 17 pantomimes; a girl's got 20." There are often cues and signs that someone may be lying. But before you whack them, remember there may also be understandable reasons for the lie.



Instructions

1.Look for body language that might indicate someone is lying, such as not looking you in the eye when speaking to you, being fidgety, or acting nervous or uncomfortable.

2.Listen for inconsistencies in what the person tells you, such as different stories on different days, different time frames, mistakes in remembering details or mixing up details.

3. Notice if the person steadfastly resists answering any questions. Extreme defensiveness could mean that he or she is trying to hide something.

4. Notice if the person accuses you of lying or being deceitful when you really haven't been. This could reflect the other person's own underlying behavior, which he or she is projecting onto you rather than owning up to it.

5.Listen to your gut and intuition. You may just know someone is lying. If you are not sure, don't jump to conclusions. Try to get some evidence to back up your hunch.
6. Consider asking directly if the person has lied to you. Many people feel bad getting caught up in lies, and find it a relief to finally be honest.

7.Try to be understanding and listen to the person's reasons for lying. Was he trying not to hurt you? Was she afraid you would be angry, upset or disappointed?

8. Look at your possible role in having someone lie to you. Are you someone who gets so upset hearing the truth that others feel they can't be honest with you?